By Ndoumbé Fall
This blog was originally published March 22, 2024.
This blog piece reflects a lot of the thoughts and feelings I’ve been having since the start of this atrocious genocide against the people of Gaza. However, my thoughts have been further solidified and shaped by the teachings and reflections of people I respect dearly, Mohammad Elshinawy, Dr. Omar Suleiman,Yaqeen Institute’s “Why Me” series and Quran 30 for 30, Khalid Latif, and Nafisatu Akilu from Nafisa’s Pearlz. May Allah bless them, elevate them, protect them, and reward them immensely for their work, enlightening lessons, and their continuous sacrifices and service to our communities. Ameen!
I think it would be fair to say that the world has been shaken by witnessing the horror and brutality being committed against the Palestinian people in Gaza since October 7, 2024. However, I am hoping that most of us know by now that the attacks on the lives of the Palestinian people preceded decades before October 7th. The images coming out of Gaza in the last couple of months have been a brutal awakening, and the strength, faith, and resilience of the Palestinian people in Gaza have inspired the world. Through it, many have discovered the beauty and enlightenment of Islam for the first time, and many others have found their way back to it. What we have witnessed in Gaza has highlighted the importance of faith for many, while for others, it has created some sort of faith crisis. Doubts have crept in about God’s mercy and justice that have formed thoughts and feelings, such as;
“How could God let this happen?…”
“Why are innocent and good people suffering…?”
“Where is God in all of this…?”
“Why won’t God put an end to it already…?”
Some may even express anger and disappointment in God, or feel distant and disconnected from Him (SWT). For many of us, the pain we feel while witnessing this current genocide unfold is real and genuine. The past couple of months have come with immense grief, and we should feel grief and anger in the face of injustice. It is a natural mercy we feel towards those who are suffering. However, we must not forget that it is a mercy that God has created within us.
God’s Divine Wisdom & Knowledge in Perspective
In addressing intellectual and emotional doubts about God as a result of the violence we’ve been witnessing against the people of Gaza, we first need to understand and accept that we can never have the capacity to truly grasp and understand God‘s knowledge and wisdom, nor could we ever have more capacity for mercy, compassion, and justice, then He (SWT). He is Ar-Rahman (the entirely merciful), Ar-Rauf (the most compassionate and tender), and Al-Adl (the utterly just), and He (SWT) created these hearts within us, and inspired in them our capacity to feel mercy and compassion. Allah (SWT) has also given us the ability to recognize right from wrong, and justice from injustice. Therefore, when addressing doubts in faith as a result of the mercy and anger we feel for those who are facing oppression, it is imperative that we approach this matter with humility.
“For the believer, they must trust that Allah knows what they do not know, and that must be enough” (Mohammad Elshinawy).
We feel great pain, and we are allowed to feel that pain and to be hurt and confused. These past couple of months have been painful and heavy, however, we cannot be deluded about who God is, and we must accept our inherent limitations as His creation.
“We complain (of our grievances) to Allah, but never about Allah” (Dr. Omar Suleiman).
Checking our Privilege & Sense of Entitlement
It feels ironic to see that the ones being bombed, displaced, and starved are the ones with unshakable faith and conviction that it almost seems out of this world. Yet, the ones struggling with a crisis of faith are the ones watching the bombing, displacement, and starvation from a distance, in the comforts of their homes, through their fancy smartphones, with full bellies, warm clothing, and with all of their safety and security intact. These same people also find it in themselves to complain about God and doubt His mercy, while reaping all of the benefits of God‘s mercy, and while enjoying His blessings and His provisions. Not only that, they use these very same blessings (their sight, their hearing, their intellect, and their ability to form speech) to complain about the One who blessed them. Had it not been for God’s favor upon them, they would be nothing and nobody worth mentioning. As Allah says in the Quran,
خَلَقَ ٱلْإِنسَـٰنَ مِن نُّطْفَةٍۢ فَإِذَا هُوَ خَصِيمٌۭ مُّبِينٌۭ
He created man from a sperm-drop, and soon he turned into a debating person, expressing himself openly (16:4)
We complain about God and demand that God put an end to all of it, while finding excuses not take action ourselves. We find it hard to refrain from sin which not only weaken the physical body (Sheikh Al-Islam Ibn Taymiya) but it also weakens the metaphorical body that is the unity of this ummah (the muslim community as a whole), as the Prophet (SAW) said “this ummah is like one body, if any part of it is in pain, the whole body feels pain” (Sahih Muslim 2586a). We find it difficult to get up at night and pray for the people we claim to be pained about (this is a reminder for myself, especially), we refrain from speaking up in spaces where it’s hard or inconvenient to speak up, and yet we demand and feel entitled to God’s help? Allah tells us in the Quran that He does not change the condition of the people until they change what is within themselves (13:11), so what have we changed within ourselves?
“Because Allah has been generous with us, have we preferred the comfort of this world over Allah?” (Dr. Hassan Elwan), even though the comfort we enjoy comes from Him.
Understanding Submission & Servitude to God
In understanding submission and servitude to God, we must first understand who God is, and put into perspective our relationship to Him. Allah (SWT) is our creator and our master, and we are His slaves. As Muslims, we have to have a full understanding and acceptance of this reality, as it is an integral part of our declaration of faith when we say “I bear witness, that there is no other God worthy of worship except for The One God (Allah).” Are we truly sincere in our declaration? Allah says in the Quran,
أَحَسِبَ ٱلنَّاسُ أَن يُتْرَكُوٓا۟ أَن يَقُولُوٓا۟ ءَامَنَّا وَهُمْ لَا يُفْتَنُونَ
Do people think they will be left alone after saying ‘We believe’ without being put to the test? (29:2)
Allah (SWT) is our Lord, the master of the day of judgement, the owner of the heavens and the earth and everything that is in it. What does this mean for us? For one, it means that Allah is not in any position to answer to us, we answer to Him (Subhanah). “(We) are the slaves of Allah, He created (us) and has the right to do with (us) whatever He chooses to” (Nafisatu Akilu). Allah does, and has the right to do whatever He wills without question. That is the reality of who Allah is, and how we feel about it, reality is irrelevant. When we call ourselves a Muslim (which literally means the one who submits), it means that we are submitting to the reality of who God is, we submit to the reality that He is our master and we are His servants, and we submit our ego to Him, we submit our intellect, we submit our desires, and our personal feelings of how things “ought to be,” and submit to His divine decree and knowledge. This is what we declare when we say we are “Muslim,” so are we true in our declaration?
It is ungrateful that we complain about Him (SWT) while we enjoy all of His blessings and favors upon us. Even if God were a vengeful, merciless, cruel, and sadistic God (astaghfirullah, we do not ascribe to Allah what does not befit Him)…, where are you going to go? He is your creator and owns you and everything in the heavens and the earth, where will you hide? Is there anywhere to run but back to Allah? Yet, how fortunate are we that our Lord is one who has prescribed mercy, generosity, kindness, and forbearance onto Himself. While we sit and complain, and disobey Him, He still feeds us, clothes us, grants us our safety and sustenance, and promises us forgiveness if we turn back to Him (may He be praised and exalted).
Why We Struggled With The Concept of Servitude
Assuming that you are a person who lives in the 21st century, I won’t be surprised if you feel a hint of discomfort around the words “master” and “slave.” These words carry some dark and heavy connotations. I will rightfully blame American chattel slavery, European colonialism, and white supremacist “god-like” wannabes who have perverted and claimed lordship onto themselves, and through it exploited much of the world’s resources and subjugated many Africans into brutal slavery. For this reason, it makes sense that the concept of complete servitude would feel alarming, however, full and complete lordship and the right to complete servitude ONLY belong to Allah. This makes sense given that He is God after all.
A second reason why we may struggle with the concept of complete servitude to God is partly due to this era of new-age-spirituality we are living in, where faith and spirituality seem to only exist to serve us. In many ways, it promotes self-worship and self-centeredness. We have somehow adopted the idea that the universe and everything in it is meant to work in our favor. It causes us to believe that we alone have the power to “manifest” all of our hopes and desires into existence. We see spirituality and faith as something transactional; meaning, I will only do good (not because it is what God has ordered me to do but) so that I can get something back in return, and we expect to see the return immediately. If this is the attitude we have towards our faith, we may risk falling into the trap of insincerity. Do we believe that God is still worthy of worship even when we perceive that we get nothing from it? Is God worthy of worship even when we don’t get our way, when things are hard, and when we see evil around us that we can’t seem to understand?
Another reason why I believe we may struggle with the concept of complete servitude to God is that we have become really comfortable. A lot of us Muslims living in the West live a life of relative ease compared to the majority of the world’s population. We have access to so many resources, and our life of ease has begun to make us complacent. Allah has given us so much that we have begun to feel entitled. We start to complain when Allah doesn’t respond to our prayers right away, and we start to feel angry with Allah when faced with challenges. We begin to forget that He is the Master, and we are the slave. Hardship is indeed a test, and surely the people of Gaza are being tested in ways we could never imagine (may Allah grant them ease), but we too are being tested. Our life of ease is also a test. Will it increase us in gratitude and humility, or complacency, pride, and entitlement?
This is The Realm of Test & Trials
When experiencing or witnessing difficulties and challenges around us, it is helpful to put into perspective that this dunya (worldly life) is the realm of tests and trials. Allah promises that He will test us. Allah says in the Quran,
وَلَنَبْلُوَنَّكُم بِشَىْءٍۢ مِّنَ ٱلْخَوْفِ وَٱلْجُوعِ وَنَقْصٍۢ مِّنَ ٱلْأَمْوَٰلِ وَٱلْأَنفُسِ وَٱلثَّمَرَٰتِ ۗ وَبَشِّرِ ٱلصَّـٰبِرِينَ
We will certainly test you with a touch of fear and famine and loss of property, life, and crops. Give good news to those who patiently endure (2:155)
Accepting the reality of this life and that we will experience difficulty from time-to-time can actually feel quite grounding and can put us at ease. On the other hand, fighting that reality only creates further anxiety and internal turmoil because you are fighting the inevitable. We haven’t made it to jannah (paradise) yet, and expecting this life to be a paradise of bliss will only set you up for disappointment. We must work hard for jannah and deal with trials patiently if the goal is to make it there. The Prophet (SAW) said that “the paradise is surrounded by hardships and the hellfire is surrounded by temptations” (Sahih Muslim 2822). If we want jannah then we have to roll up our sleeves and work for it just like we work for everything else we want in life. Jannah is for those with sincere belief in their hearts as long as they do not associate any partners with Allah (SWT).
The prophet (SAW) said that “there will come a time where the people are sifted through” (Sunan Abi Dawud 4342), like flour is sifted through from its impurities, in order to distinguish between the true believers and the hypocrites” (Mohammad Elshinawy). Tests and trials show us what we are really made of, and reveal to us the truth and extent of our sincerity. Allah is not unjust to anyone and would not punish the hypocrites unless He reveals to them their hypocrisy. Allah says in the Quran,
وَلَيَعْلَمَنَّ ٱللَّهُ ٱلَّذِينَ ءَامَنُوا۟ وَلَيَعْلَمَنَّ ٱلْمُنَـٰفِقِينَ
Allah will surely make known those who believe and He will surely make known those who are hypocrites (29:11)
We may have hypocrisy in our hearts while thinking that we are sincere believers. Tests not only distinguish the sincere believers from the hypocrites, but it also forces us to become a witness to the reality of what lies in our hearts. That is if we recognize the opportunity of deep self-introspection that’s presented to us within the test.
This current genocide has been a painful test for the people of Gaza (may Allah lift their trial and liberate them), but it has also been a test for those of us watching from a distance. The people of Gaza have proven their sincerity (God willing) in ways that have transformed lives and inspired people across the globe, now what about you and I?
Although accepting the reality that we will face tests and trials can actually be quite liberating, our Beloved (SAW) has taught us to pray for ‘afiah (ease, or to be saved from affliction). In a narration from Muadh Ibn Jabal, the Prophet (SAW) heard a man praying for patience, and he (SAW) told the man that “you have prayed for hardship, instead ask Him for ease.” (Dr. Omar Suleiman: Prayers of the Pious).
We also consistently pray for ease in all of our affairs in our morning and evening remembrance (adhkar).
اللَّهُمَّ إِنِّي أَسْأَلُكَ الْعَفْوَ وَالْعَافِيَةَ فِي الدُّنْيَا وَالْآخِرَةِ، اللَّهُمَّ إِنِّي أَسْأَلُكَ الْعَفْوَ وَالْعَافِيَةَ فِي دِينِي وَدُنْيَايَ وَأَهْللِي، وَمَالِي
O Allah, I seek Your forgiveness and Your protection (from affliction) in this world and the next. O Allah, I seek Your forgiveness and Your protection in my religion, in my worldly affairs, in my family and in my wealth…(Sahih Ibn Majah 2/332 and Abu Dawud)
In the last verse of Surah Al-Baqarah, which we are encouraged to recite before going to sleep every night, we are praying to Allah to not burden us beyond our scope. Allay says,
لَا يُكَلِّفُ ٱللَّهُ نَفْسًا إِلَّا وُسْعَهَا ۚ لَهَا مَا كَسَبَتْ وَعَلَيْهَا مَا ٱكْتَسَبَتْ ۗ رَبَّنَا لَا تُؤَاخِذْنَآ إِن نَّسِينَآ أَوْ أَخْطَأْنَا ۚ رَبَّنَا وَلَا تَحْمِلْ عَلَيْنَآ إِصْرًۭا كَمَا حَمَلْتَهُۥ عَلَى ٱلَّذِينَ مِن قَبْلِنَا ۚ رَبَّنَا وَلَا تُحَمِّلْنَا مَا لَا طَاقَةَ لَنَا بِهِۦ ۖ وَٱعْفُ عَنَّا وَٱغْفِرْ لَنَا وَٱرْحَمْنَآ ۚ أَنتَ مَوْلَىٰنَا فَٱنصُرْنَا عَلَى ٱلْقَوْمِ ٱلْكَـٰفِرِينَ
Allah does not require of any soul more than what it can afford. All good will be for its own benefit, and all evil will be to its own loss. ˹The believers pray,˺ “Our Lord! Do not punish us if we forget or make a mistake. Our Lord! Do not place a burden on us like the one you placed on those before us. Our Lord! Do not burden us with what we cannot bear. Pardon us, forgive us, and have mercy on us. You are our ˹only˺ Guardian. So grant us victory over the disbelieving people (2:286)
The goal is to create a healthy balance between accepting the reality that we will be tested while hoping and praying for God’s mercy in the form of ease.
Regaining our Strength
Gaza has forever changed us. One of the many lessons learned from witnessing this genocide against our people in Gaza is that we have to move from thinking of the self to thinking of the collective. Coming back to the concept of this ummah as one body, we are pained when members of our ummah are in pain, whether they be anywhere from Gaza to Sudan, from Sudan to the Congo, from the Congo to China, and everywhere else where Muslims are facing hardship and persecution. However, thinking of this ummah as one body should also teach us another lesson, and that is that our sins weaken this unified body, and our ibadah (worship) and good deeds strengthen it. Our individual sins become collective sins, and our individual ibadah and obedience to Allah also become a collective ibadah, and our strength as an ummah is in our obedience to Allah. Therefore, “your worship can’t just be for you anymore” (Khalid Latif). This is not the time to throw our hands up in despair or entertain doubts about our faith. We all have a very important role here, and that is to hold on to the rope of our faith just as the people of Gaza are gracefully doing. “Faith makes you unbreakable. We must level up because things might get harder, but we must also get stronger” (Mohammad Elshinaway). This Ramadan can’t just be about our own spiritual nourishment and healing, but it has to also be about the collective spiritual nourishment and healing that the ummah desperately needs.
About the Author
Ndoumbé is a licensed mental health counselor of Senegalese origin. She graduated from Queens College with a Bachelor’s degree in psychology and sociology, and received a Master’s degree in mental counseling and wellness from NYU Steinhardt. Ndoumbé’s work mainly focuses on relational trauma, attachment, and esteem building. Ndoumbé utilizes trauma-informed integrative approaches, culturally sensitive approaches, and incorporates Islamic spirituality to guide her work. Ndoumbé has always been passionate about advocating for the importance of mental health within her community as well as advocating for the importance of culturally sensitive and trauma-informed care for BIPOC individuals in mental health spaces.
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